narcissist and second marriage

It seemed grand until my son was born then the cracks appeared, I wanted her for just me. Everything my ex accused me of, I just apologised for, agreed with her, and just went on my way. And yes, I have gone to alanon and counseling- because in my self-recriminations, I realized my giving nature had lacked boundaries. lol. This site also participates in other affiliate programs and Stop thinking that way. He continuously criticized me and my kids. However, this same person (woman), is prone to cheating when her husband is not available (working a lot of hours). Sure, I would love to know what was real, and what was her just trying to make me jealous, but in the end, who cares. 2010: Hell has gotten even worse. Its been 4 years since I had a relationship with anyone. Amazon.com. This went on for months and we never even kissed properly. You may often feel unloved when married to a narcissist, which also isn't your fault. As long as her life continues to appear fabulous, she will keep this guy around. Everything, that is, except for his work. In a marriage or serious relationship, a narcissist can demand they be loved, and shame you when you arent doing what they want. My concern is my children, I have no communication with him or her because I refuse to be in that triangled mess and I hope and pray that it all works out for them. I thank God we had no children. One of the hardest things about recovering from divorce from a narcissist is the How did I not see this reality? My STBXs timeline: 2002: meets victim number 1, impregnates, moves in, marries her. Either their spouse is a completely codependent doormat (as I was sadly) OR their spouse is also narcissistic/sociopathic and just using him so they are both just using each other. He wanted me isolated and loved pulling my strings. This can contribute to trust issues surfacing later on in areas such as communication with an ex or activity on social media sites. Everything, that is, except for his work. What they do is criminal. Hmm, same thing he told me. What a f*cking head case! Wow this is the exact situation that my ex wife isnt in. He or she feels they are unique and rare while most other human beings are common and ordinary. I was his 4th wife and less than 1 year after our divorce he had remarried on to wife #5. No honesty. Everything my ex accused me of, I just apologised for, agreed with her, and just went on my way. Good luck! Nine months later we were married, and a year after that I had a baby. A few weeks ago I discovered my Narcissist ex husband and his 4th wife (15yrs his junior) are expecting their first child, his 4th biological child or 8th including stepchildren. I have zero interest in having an affair with him or anyone else. How to Tell a Narcissist You Want a Divorce? Truly move on, dont wait for them to come back because if they do it will only be for self serving reasons. Slapped a ring on her finger after 4 months, moved into her house. I think she is also a NARC and they feed off of each other well, after the cruise and the Altercation she leaves and has not returned as of yet but comes on the weekends to be a wife and to let him spend time with their 7 month old daughter together. I have to see him several days a week, which I cant get out of. Thanks for letting tell someone what is happing. Her oldest sons gf was pregnant, so she wanted a kid then too. I pray the next victim does not have children. If they cheat, you eventually find out and it destroys your confidence even more. How can someone who has a history of cheating and lying, who lacks empathy and compassion, and who has proven that he/she has no desire of upholding their vows get remarried? And why do they often rush to RE-marry? He left me in the emergency room and never came back. They met on the internet. In many cases, narcissistic behavior patterns have led to problems in the narcissist's marriage, family, friendships, and career. By associating with others who attract attention, he ensures that he will never be deficient in Narcissistic Supply. He got us so far into debt, I could not afford to divorce himfinally I just didI did not care, I moved out. Im divorced now and he lets his new girl believe i did all kinds of crazy He said and did terrible things..m still calls me late at night when she isnt there from Nick numbers and leaves me messages about how we child still work it out Hed leave her and his kids.. Shes pregnant now with his fifth kid Thankfully i had no kids. He needed that status of me leaving him. Narcissists behave worse with age. Its surreal. Whether it is a traditional church affair with white wedding dress, a civil ceremony inside a football stadium, something unusual such as at the bottom of a swimming pool, a same sex union, a week long Indian wedding or getting spliced in . Do you think if she really liked him/was in awe of him shed modify her behaviour to suit? Manchu Manoj Second Marriage Mehandi Pic #youtubeshorts #shortsfeed #shorts Since then there have been a few other times where i, with real good reasons, suspect she cheated. Making up lies, getting PFAs by making up stories about me. Was hard now a year later i thank god for sending the whore to my life and freeing myself from an excuse of a man who lied took my money and treated me like dirt.thank you. Stand up for yourself. Hes much closer to her in age and looks than I am more of a trophy good catch. He did this to get at me because I wouldnt take him back, then she became pregnant and terminated the pregnancy because they were already beginning to have problems. One day she called and asked if i want to go to china in September, and i said no. I was a doormat and the narcissist left me. Anything whatsoever that you can say to the NARC, either verbally or in writing or through any third party, is simply giving your EXN a Supply, and you will just end up feeling pain. Having dated my own narcissist, I believe them leaving is the far better option, albeit still painful. So a week ago she went to china to visit her family and a girlfriend of hers accompanied her. I do not speak to him or even look at him although he still lives at home. At first it was really hard but taking the time to get to know myself, focus on my children and recovery was the best choice Ive ever made! Kept finances separate. But there are forums like Divorce Busting that have online support groups you might find more posters who can answer your questions or get more feedback. It has destroyed a piece of her. Your european teaser was a Narc, you are correct, once a Narc always a Narc. Her oldest sons gf was pregnant, so she wanted a kid then too. By now he was cheating ( if not from the beginning!) Ive noticed narcissistic people tend to call other people narcissists frequently, I was the second wife to a narcissist. a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to The main reason for this is that narcissists place an extremely high importance on their own needs and desires. And yes, some women offer both. He spoke of marriage allllll the time yet when we met he was still married but separated, so he says. We are pregnant only a few months after meeting. Im in a mess. Narcissistic abuse is a type of emotional abuse where the abuser only cares about themselves and may use words and actions to manipulate their partner's behavior and emotional state. Take notes for EVERYTHING! For all those wondering what they did wrong.the answer is loved someone who has not learned to love themselves.love is not on the narcissist list of needs.only the external supply they need to power themselveseither give it to them and let yourself be depleted until you stop being you or respect yourself enough to simply let them be who they are and cut your losses and walk away NOW! Karma will get his ass. August: Girlfriend has now assumed all of Dads parental roles and responsibilities. Get a temporary order. I suspect he didnt give in to her every whim. We tried a reconciliation but his constant abandonment kept occurring. This guy that she married is pretty successful financially. They typically have little empathy for others, which can make it difficult for them to understand or . Tehy are tricky and master liars. I asked her are just you and the girlfriend going and she and she said yes, just the two of them. I dont know why, but I just had that feeling, so I called the travel agent that she uses who is also a friend of mine and asked him, who else went, and he reluctantly finally told me my wife, her gf, and 2 guys. Why would a narcissist get married? Finally, it does not matter what the NARC says about you to anyone, they will be found out of you do this: STAND IN YOUR OWN TRUTH WITH DIGNITY AND SELF RESPECT, DO NOT LOWER YOURSELF TO THE NARCS DEPTHS OF HOPELESSNESS, AND REMEMBER THAT YOU HAVE ESCAPED FROM A TERRIBLE EXISTENCE, AND THE ROAD AHEAD IS NOW CLEAR FOR AN AMAZING LIFE THAT YOU WILL HAVE. Shes teasing with her provocative comments and endless selfies. Since then she has totally confused me. But neither of us have ever made a move. I told him one day that I wanted intimacy in our sex and not just naughty, nasty, sex. A little background? After our divorce, his first wifes family came out of the woodwork with stories of his narcissistic behaviors towards his wife and neglect of his kids after she died. I divorced a narcissist 44 years ago. I know it hurts, and I imagine you feel rejected, but those feelings will fade. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. waited on him hand an foot, than he divorce me. I believe he feels the same way. Until they get bored and find a secondary supply. So what i am looking for is a somewhat analysis of what other people think of this whole situation and what they feel was really going on. The rest of the time she was sharing selfies of expensive holidays, her wedding, things he bought her publically, not just friends/family. In case you were unsure of 4, 5 & 6, NO CONTACT WITH YOUR EXN. Its less likely they cheated on you. So the second marriage will contain more abuse than the first one. Living and loving a narcissist is never easy. Ultimately, whether you are happy with such an arrangement is up to you. The N. I was married to for 28 yrs just remarried. I know why he apologises to random people for things she accuses him of, because I used to do it. The first year it was great. But he says hes happy. 2. She hasnt left him yet (3 years and counting) despite constantly threatening him with divorce. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition ( DSM-V) defines narcissism as a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. He had been married 3 times and had 3 other long relationships. And when a wife decides [] He is trying desperately to get me and my now five year old son (who is his only child) out of the house. Whether family members, friends, bosses, or coworkers we all have toxic people to overcome. mine did almost the same but is delusional n hides the mental fk up w/ FB smoke n mirrors. They get married and have children. I also have seen how when her husband works long hours, and she doesnt see him often enough, she goes out a lot more, texts her ex-husband over ridiculous things with their daughter, and has cheated on him. And the narcissist will certainly try to convince you that you've made a mistake. While you are dealing with a narcissist, it could be possible that a narcissist is hurting, demeaning, and dominating you wrongly due to their self-obsessive nature. We have many additional resources on this site including recommended books, courses, and one-on-one coaching sessions .